Names of God: Alpha and Omega

Markers

The Beginning and the End. 

How many times in the last 5-years have you said, 

"I don't see this ending well."

"It can't possibly get any worse."

"I'll be glad when this year is over."

The world seems upside down and we feel more powerless and vulnerable than ever. 

But God was before this and He is going to finish it. Everything is parenthetical to Him. 

(Α + Ω) = God

I love math. It deals in answers you can prove and are always the same (at least that's what I thought until I took Abstract Algebra 😛). One plus one is always two. 

(1 + 1) = 2

But when we add something outside the parenthetical, it alters what's inside:

2 (1 + 1) = 4

But God cannot be altered! He cannot be altered by weather, politics, war, famine, economics, despair, corruption, ... anything! 

illness (Α + Ω) = God

war (Α + Ω) = God

despair (Α + Ω) = God

When we feel like we're at the end with no where to go, I think we've put ourselves outside the parenthetical. We need to remember we are nuzzled in the parentheses where we can look to one side and see the Alpha and look to the other and see the Omega. 

This is our fortress!

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"Coloring the Names of God" by Ann-Margret Hovsepian, 2024. 

Names of God: Advocate

Highlighters

One of the puzzle pieces I discussed in the Abba devotion was having a shoulder to physically lean on. Being able to "call" and talk to God anytime is great but, when I don't have any words, sometimes it's nice to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with someone. There's just nothing like a warm, kind touch or a bright smile.

Because of the Fall we can't walk with God in the garden anymore. How amazing it must have been to share that physical presence when Jesus came to earth--for Jesus and the disciples! Jesus must have delighted in hugging, touching, smiling, watching, listening, talking, crying, and laughing with us again. 

Even as Lord and Savior, I imagine it was difficult for Jesus to physically leave us. 

Therefore, at Pentecost, God sent the Holy Spirit. The fact of the Holy Spirit blows my mind. I came to Christ at a very early age so it's like we've always been together; I've never known it to be any other way. For those saved later in life, receiving the Spirit must be profound.

Sometimes to understand something better I try to imagine what the opposite would be like. For instance, what if believers didn’t have the Holy Spirit? This idea makes me feel afraid and vulnerable, like a child getting separated from their parents at the zoo. Why is that?

When I was very young my parents took us to the Florida zoo. It was the first time I'd ever seen a peacock and I was amazed. Before we could finish our tour a violent storm rolled in. I don't remember getting back to the car but I do remember, once in the car, looking out the windshield and seeing the wind and rain whipping the palms around as if they were attacking us.

The parts of this I remember and the parts I don't remember have a common characteristic--I was ignorant. I don't remember the impending storm because I wasn't in charge of the family's safety and I was ignorant of tornados and hurricanes. I'm just enjoying the peacocks. But my parents were aware of the potential danger and the need to take shelter. 

Remembering the storm in the car is probably because I had never experienced nature as dangerous but I knew, in my child brain, that mom and dad knew everything and knew what to do. The sounds may have been loud, the sights chaotic, and my parent's voices tense, but it would have been nothing compared to being in the car alone without my "all knowing and wise" advocates. 

Today what I need to remember is that spiritually I am always a child and God the Holy Spirit is always my parent. Ann-Margret Hovsepian says in her devotion* on God as our Advocate, “…the Holy Spirit is with us in the absence of the physical presence of Jesus Christ to continue His work.” 

As an adult, this spiritual embrace should be much more comforting than any earthly one. Nothing in this world can prevent God from being with me every second, especially when I'm alone, ignorant or vulnerable. It's not to say bad things won't happen, like if a tree had fallen on our car or we had ran into a ditch, but the strength of a tree and the waters of a ditch can never take away or weaken my spiritual Advocate. 

---

"Coloring the Names of God" by Ann-Margret Hovsepian, 2024. 

Day 3 of Treatment #1

Outside the Blood Cancer Center

Just a shot today, thank goodness. The shot is to boost the production of white blood cells for healing. They are produced in the bone marrow so he can have bone pain after this. 

John is working today. He’s actually not feeling much worse than yesterday. A little light headedness and still some numbness in his fingers and lips. The treatment staff is aware. We are taking his BP twice a day and it’s good. 👍

He doesn’t have another appointment until next Wednesday which is just to monitor how he’s doing. Of course we have more prescriptions to pick up to help his immune system. 

No more weight loss and no more nausea. 

Because of the increase risk of infection I’m afraid we can’t receive visitors until further notice. 😢 You might consider video calls. I’m sorry about this but we do t want John to get ANY infections. 

Love u all. Thx for the prayers.

Day 2 Done

We got home about 1.5 hours earlier today. We stopped for Chic-fil-a which we do every time we go to an appointment. 

John did great today. All of his vitals are normal and he is having no drug interactions so far! He said he feels good and is encouraged he feels so well. 

Time for a nap. 

Drip Started

 

The drip got started late. The med is ordered the morning of the appointment and they were behind. 

Everything good at the 30-min mark.

What does Rhonda do during all of this? Eat, drink coffee, and play Civ 5.

Day 2 of Treatment 1

John is al setup for day 2. Another long day. It’s only one med but the side affects are monitored very closely so the drip takes about 90 minutes and then he has to be observed for 90 minutes.

John slept great and has had very little nausea. He’s a little light headed but his blood pressure is good. His taste buds have changed again—everything tastes like salt! Horrible. 

Home - Day 1 Done!

 

John is home and being loved on. He’s feeling very good, just tired. We left the clinic at 3:30. He was able to sleep some during his treatment, which helped. His BP is down but nothing they were immediately concerned with. 

We leave here tomorrow around 7 for another long day. 

3-Hours Later

John’s finally getting meds! He’s doing good. Just very, very tired. 

Early morning

Up at 5:00

At clinic by 6:45

Treatment #1, Day 1

Names of God: Abba

Colored pencils and gel pen

I haven't prayed much in the last couple of decades. It's like having received this outrageously hi-tech, super expensive tool. I'm afraid to use if for breaking it and guilty for not using it because it's so amazing. 

This super cool tool has been explained to me in so many different ways it almost feels like the instructions were written by the Cal-Tech science department:

• Remember when you pray you’re on holy ground. 
• Pray without ceasing.
• Pray first thing in the morning.
• Pray over everything. 
• Pray for an hour. 
• Start with praise, then gratitude, then blah, blah blah. 

All in all, I’ve never felt worthy of prayer. It seems like a one way din to God Who already knows everything anyway. Jesus prayed in the garden all night. Why? I mean, “in the beginning was the Word and the Word was God…” so Jesus, in that moment, knew everything, the how and the why. So what was He praying for?

This may sound like I’m leading up to some sort of big, personal revelation about prayer and how my prayer life has been reborn, (cue fireworks and a lightbulb), but it doesn’t happen that way. It’s been a series of puzzle pieces falling into place (albeit a puzzle the size of Texas).  

Puzzle Piece 1

I lost my mom last year. She wasn’t the type I could call and talk to about my problems unless it was why my biscuits weren’t rising or my sewing machine tension was off. I would have liked to call and get wisdom about being a wife and a woman but that just wasn’t her.

Puzzle Piece 2

One of my oldest friends sent me a coloring book this year for my birthday, “Coloring the Names of God” by Ann-Margret Hovsepian*. The first name of God in the book is 

Abba. Hovsepian says, “rest in the truth that God loves you more than any daddy ever could.”

Puzzle Piece 3

My own dad had a great deal of trouble in showing emotion and actively kept a relationship from developing. So, the idea of God as Father was a concept I couldn’t understand.

I’ve been very lonely for close, personal contact—someone who just focuses on me. I have very generous and available friends and family but, at the end of a long day of taking care of a sick spouse, the dogs, the house, etc., I’d love to crash on the couch with someone, put my head on their shoulder and talk about my day. 

Connecting the Pieces

So, wiping away all the rules on the “proper” way to pray, I realize I can just “make a call” to my Abba. I can talk about my day, complain, worry, and thank Him for listening to me ramble on like a silly little girl. Is this wrong?

I’ve realized that if I hadn’t of called my mom for twenty-years and suddenly picked up the phone, she wouldn’t have cared what I wanted to talk about. If my dad had answered the phone, he would have betrayed himself for a brief moment with a higher pitch in his voice and even a, “It’s good to hear you. Here’s your mom.”

35 Years Ago

 I love you, John. Thank you for making me a better woman. 

Echocardiogram

John had an echocardiogram health check on May 6. 

One of the possible side effects of chemo can be heart failure which simply means the pumping strength of the heart muscle weakens. Today’s echocardiogram documents the pumping strength of John’s heart now, before chemo starts. The echo will be performed again during treatment so comparisons can be made. 

Overall, John’s heart has the normal appearance of a man his age with mild high blood pressure. The left ventricular function is completely normal. 

It is no surprise, though, that the heart's right ventricle is struggling. The lymphoma in the right side of his chest is squished in on the right bronchia, pulmonary artery and pulmonary vein. This is a very compact area to begin with, where numerous crucial functions perform as a well-oiled machine. Drop a couple of 2.5” marbles in there in the form of lymphoma and there’s a noticeable impact.

The Thoracic cavity is very compact, not unlike a bunch of straws zip tied together.

A couple of 2.5" lymphomas squeezed into this cavity is bound to restrict the vital veins, arteries, and air ways.

             

The chemo may weaken the pumping of the heart but, if it decreases the size of these marbles, the right lung and ventricular function should get better!

Some Dates

 
I don't expect to put updates out everyday but sometimes, like today, I just feel like talking. 

• Insurance has already approved the EKG and most of the chemo treatment.
• The EKG is scheduled for Wednesday, May 5. 
• First treatment is tentatively scheduled for Monday, May 18.